9 ways to stand out during Jeter's farewell tour
1. LOOK LIKE A BASEBALL
Have you ever looked at a baseball and thought, "Wait a minute, this looks EXACTLY like me!" If so, grab the face paint and head to the ballpark because your uncanny resemblance to the game's most indispensable inanimate object is just the thing to break out of the otherwise faceless masses flocking to the Stadium for Jeter's last go-round.
2. SAY THANK YOU
Five World Series titles, a lifetime .311 average, 3,374 hits, 257 home runs, 1,273 RBI and more unforgettable memories than any sports fan would have a reasonable expectation to enjoy in one lifetime. Yeah, I'd say a thank you is in order.
3. BE THESE GUYS
Looking for a good reason to finally put those skin-tight, spandex cat suits to good use? Who isn't? Well, I think you've finally found your perfect excuse. Derek would have wanted it this way.
4. WIN A SUPER BOWL
This one is admittedly difficult, but Seattle's Russells, Wilson and Okung, accomplished the feat this year with a dismantling of the Denver Broncos.
5. NO, SERIOUSLY, WIN THE SUPER BOWL
We don't mean to pile on here, we realize this isn't the most realistic way to get noticed while you're enjoying a hot dog and beer at the Stadium, but if you -- or your brother -- have happened to win any Super Bowls recently, it is an excellent way to ensure your presence is noted during The Captain's final season.
6. BE ADORABLE
Ask anyone, it works.
7. WEAR A FEDORA (OR BE HALL OF FAMER ERNIE BANKS)
Remember how good your grandfather looked, all suited up on a Sunday afternoon just to read the paper and drink a glass of Dewars? It's a timeless look. Even more so if you happen to be Cubs legend, Ernie Banks. You don't get a nickname as fantastic as "Mr. Cub" without looking the part.
8. BRING A BACKUP CAMERA
This is it people. Like, really, really it. This is Derek Jeter's final season, forever. You don't want to end up twenty years from now explaining to your grandchild that you seriously, really did see Derek Jeter in his final visit to such and such park, but your camera wasn't working so you'll just have to take my word for it. Sure, the iPhone takes beautiful, high-res images, but it wouldn't hurt to pack a disposable just in case everything goes to hell.
9. DON'T RUN ON THE FIELD
This one may seem counter-intuitive. There's a tendency to think, "But if I run on the field everyone will notice me and I will be remembered forever." Don't do that. Really, don't do that. Just look at that face. Does that look like a man who's happy to see you? No, no it doesn't. Better to keep the emotions in check, grab a few photos and avoid spending the evening in your neighborhood jail cell.